Comments : Can't he see?

  • 18 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    Good poem. The idea of repeating "can't he see" worked to some extent, however I feel it began to drag on toward the end. Also the "Can't he see?
    Can't he see?
    Can't he see....
    Can't he see I love him????"
    was unnecessary, I personally think it would have been better with out that at the end. Some of the descriptions you used worked well and gave a depth to the poem. Overall not bad, but as with all poems there is room for improvement.

  • 18 years ago

    by natalie

    I liked the poem, and i think it had some really good description, but it felt like the description was an after thought. I really like the subject and what it is you are saing :D

  • 18 years ago

    by Erica

    I LIKED THAT ALOT i saved you as a favorite

  • 18 years ago

    by Katie

    i love this poem

  • 18 years ago

    by unstated affinity

    wow.. nice... i like this poem.. keep the good job.

  • 18 years ago

    by AllHailTheHeartbreaker

    Great poem! It was insightful and truthful. I got a little mixed up in the words in the 2nd stanza, but it's 10:33pm, so I'm just a bit too tired to follow a poem that closely right now. Anyway, I really enjoyed it, especially how it all led up to the last two lines - keep it up!
    -Kate

  • 18 years ago

    by Renee

    nice poem, its not often you hear about guys being used by girls in the game of love. great repitition to. Keep up the good work!

    Take Care,
    Renee

  • 18 years ago

    by Nicholle

    This poem didn't have a very good flow but I loved the meaning. I felt like you were standing in my shoes. You feelings were shown very well. Great write

  • 18 years ago

    by Feline Fatigue

    that is so sweet!!! nice job!!

  • 18 years ago

    by ScarletHaze

    excellent! xxx

  • 18 years ago

    by Natasha

    *dedicated to all guys out there that need to open their eyes to everything around them, and everyone...*

    O yeah! okay down to critics, I don't think this poem needs any changing, for when you change one thing you change the rest. and I woulden't want this poem to change.
    I wonder, how long have you been writing?

  • 18 years ago

    by aDORKable x3

    Yea, I agree with you...Guys need to open their eyes somethimes and look out onto the world with an open mind

    Good Job!
    CK♥

  • 16 years ago

    by mier

    A really expressive poem with a sorrowful twist at the end.. I really like it. :)