Straight-Jacket

I know you say when i rhyme it constricts my message more or less...but i think you need to find some kind of rhyme scheme i think it's hard to read and its more of a story that dosn't make sense it's about a crazy person but what about a crazy person like after i read the poem all i was left with was "so there was a crazy guy in it" i know this is probably meant for really smart people who can shred apart a poem and look at every aspect and find what it means but i think sometimes its nice to just be blunt

i loved it it left me wondering about some things though . i still liked it
~HazE

liked this one too. Not really anything to critique about it, it was all around good

Bad chemicals indeed, great word choice. I agree with some of the other comments that could be tweaked slightly. Perhaps, usings a combination of ryhme, or a clearer central theme. I love your overall theme, but if you wnat this poem to flow, ryhme is the way to go. Good luck, and Thanks

Peace and Farewell,

Ed

Yay! I understand this one! Well, at least, i have my own interpretations of what you're saying. Pink Floyd's "One of My Turns" and a picture of Hannibal Lecture (sp?) came to mind.

To me, it seems to take either two pathways. One, the world totally messed up this guy and now that he's responding, they automactically say he's crazy. Or two, it's about someone who's different and only wants company, only to be taken off to a place that takes all chance of that away.

R$R (rhyme&rhythm), you've always had your own style. I think this one is fine because, like micheal said, it adds to the messege of the poem.

All in all, great.

Aken Sol