I Could

by TragicRomance   Jul 22, 2005


Everytime you are near, I get weak and start to sweat,
but later I am in so much debt;

I just want to walk away,
and I think about it every day;

I could, but I don't,
I should, but I won't;

I can't help the way I feel inside,
because I've got no choice, but to live or die;

I am in love with you, I'll admit,
I really think I am finally loosing it;

I know what I should do,
and I think that you know it to;

I should just let you go,
my mind says yes, while my heart says no;

People say you're wrong for me,
but I guess, this, I just can't see;

I know I could leave, but, I just don't have the heart,
nothing can ever tear us apart;

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by *NiCoLe*

    hey gurl,
    its really good..honestly it is...and that poem "A True Friend" was about you!! but good job once again...ttyl byez

  • 18 years ago

    by TragicRomance

    I am in high school!

  • 18 years ago

    by Cory Mastrandrea

    First of all, The rhyme sounds forced. Some of the sentence structure is choppy because you have flipped them around, in midstream, to make it rhyme. If it doesn't rhyme, try a different word, or a whole new lone. Also, try to stay away from passive tense. I have a pome that has a lot of passive tense in it, but truthfully it is best to stick to active. That means make sure the subject is doing the action. Another thing, the love pfine, but add more character to it. It is kind of like I am watching high school life. Not that that is bad or anything, but get more into character development. More into the psychological mind, and not teh superficial, it makes it more interesting for the reader.

  • 18 years ago

    by Cory Mastrandrea

    First of all, The rhyme sounds forced. Some of the sentence structure is choppy because you have flipped them around, in midstream, to make it rhyme. If it doesn't rhyme, try a different word, or a whole new lone. Also, try to stay away from passive tense. I have a pome that has a lot of passive tense in it, but truthfully it is best to stick to active. That means make sure the subject is doing the action. Another thing, the love pfine, but add more character to it. It is kind of like I am watching high school life. Not that that is bad or anything, but get more into character development. More into the psychological mind, and not teh superficial, it makes it more interesting for the reader.

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