No Longer Go On

by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex   Jul 24, 2005


She wants to be where she can be saved,
So as she brought the blade to her wrist,
Her mind said its goodbyes and waved,
As she slipped into death's arms.
She didn't want to leave,
But this endless dread always came back,
In the middle of the night.
This is how her heart tells you of its feelings,
Telling you it can no longer go on.
This feeling inside her never went away,
And it wasn't just in her head.
So one night she decided,
She's slip out of this world by ways of suicide.
This is what happens,
When you've run out of ways to say you're sorry,
And to tell everyone you've given up.
So she says her goodbyes tonight,
As she slits her wrist;
She thought that maybe since she'd been good on earth up until now,
That maybe God would take her in, And save her from this monster inside.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Lauren Waszkiewicz

    I like it, it wasnt magnificent, there were a few minor errors, but overqally i really liked it!!

    the only real things i could pick out were these-

    'When you've run out of ways to say you're sorry,
    And to tell everyone you've given up.-this line makes no sense.. re read it and you will see what i mean, it should(i think read something like-(depending on waht was originally meant by it)
    1-And so you tell everyone you've given up.
    2-And with it you tell eveyone..etc
    3and ways to tell everyone goodbye.

    or something
    also-

    So she says her goodbyes tonight,
    *As she slits her wrist;* i find this wayyy to blunt, when i read it it made me think like it belongs at the end of a nursery rhyme or some other thing like that..only evil..
    She thought that maybe since she'd been good on earth up until now,
    That maybe God would take her in, And save her from this monster inside.

    ^^ this part also, needs some spaces, or commas.. its too long.

    Lat but not elast, the rhyme scheme annoyed me b/c i thought there was one inthe beginning, and then there wasnt .. -saved, waved-

    Well Thats it. =]

    5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by ღ»Lσιѕ«ღ

    Another good poem!!! Not one of your best but still a good one!!! The way you word your poems are amazing!! I totally admire you!!! Keep it up!!! 5/5!! Couldnt change a thing!!! Wonderful!!

  • 18 years ago

    by shawn hoskins

    Very good i was just wondering why everytime someone is slitting there wrist i'd like to hear a creative one like i got the 12 gauge out and proceded to blow thy brains plum out j/k it was very good 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Jamie

    As she slipped into death's arms

    thats so pretty....i love personification it's a great thing it spices up EVERYTHING ahhh that sounded so cool.

    some part would seem to be choppy but since this wasnt in any rhyming format you could just talk the whole thing through so there was no structure so choppy isnt a word that can exsist in this poem....

    what i got from this is just the feeling of being sick of the world and just not even bothering anymore because you feel so useless you just give up...and you worded it well its not an easy thing to word emotions and you did a good job!

  • 18 years ago

    by Lonely Heart .ღ.

    Completely amazing, :)
    another one of yours very well done,

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