A Shrimp In The Sea :'(

by Kane Burden   Jul 28, 2005


I seem trapped in my own world
But to tell you the truth
I don't mind it at all....

I may be isolated from society
I may not fit in.
But at least i am an active micro-organism
Within this cruel Eco-system.

Ive been living like this since i was born.
Weighing in at 11 pounds,
I was the largest baby of the month!
Throughout my education,
I was classed a nerd
And curly hair surely didn't help.

The artificial light that i thrive on
Without needing further attention.
Is the result of technology developed
By the older generation.

I feel as if i am in a different ecosystem.
In perfect balance with nature
But completely misplaced in society!

I am a self-contained organism.
But people's opinions affect me.
I do care what others think
But pretend not to be bothered.

I have gained a respectable living for myself
But feel like a shrimp in the sea!
Living in a research laboratory
Unable to break free.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Sabine Taylor

    Thanks for your comments, but you know constructive critism is always helpfull, isn't it ?!?! So I also have to defend my poem, it's a Rondeau, yes it is *lol*, but it's a standard literary Rondeau like John McCrae used to write it, with 15 lines. And the refrain consists of the first few words of the first line of the first stanza, in such a way only two rhymes are used. The rhyme scheme is like that then : aabba aabR aabbaR. R=refrain

    Thanks for your comments again, I hope to read more great work like that.

    See you :-)
    Sabine

  • 18 years ago

    by Sabine Taylor

    Unique write with lots of insights ;-)
    Primely written, the last stanza is my fave.
    Thanks for your comments, but you know constructive critism is always helpfull, isn't it. S

  • 18 years ago

    by Amanda

    You're the one shrimp that sticks out to me!! You're an awesome person!! And a great poet! I don't see how anyone would think you're "Nerdy!" But, then again, it does not matter what they would think!! You're a really sweet person! I loved your poem!

    Love, MANA!!!

  • 18 years ago

    by Mandy Lou

    AWW! I don't think your curly hair is "nerdy" I think it's cute! Hehe, great poem! Kind regards from Amanda!

  • 18 years ago

    by katie

    love it

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