Fake/poisoned air

I don't want to walk outside
and see all the fake smiles
i just want to be able to pull the covers over my head
and let the day be dark
I want to see the sun swallowed
by my feelings
that ooze
like the blood from wrists
from the flooding of my memories
that reach back to my preexist
I don't want to breathe the poisoned air
that is polluted by the ones who pretend to be themselves,
I want the sky to fall down
i want to embrace it
I wanted to be looked at and if touched it would seem i would break.
I want the sun to burst into a million flames
symbolizing how i truly feel
I wanted to open my eyes and be thinner ....then everything
I wanted to be wanted but ....forgotten