I push everyone away

Today I woke up before the rising sun
To reflect upon things As the sadness has begun

I think about you and what we've had
I think about the things I want you to understand

I don't want to hurt you that's not my goal
But I already have and it's tearing up my soul

I run and hide away in my own little "perfect world"
when people see me they don't see the hurting little girl

I want to crawl away and die
I've felt this way so long I can't even remember why

I want to trust you and let you in
but to tell you some things I wouldn't even know where to begin

I know I can trust you and I know you care
but I've been hurt enough that I'm not sure I can care

You deserve someone that's not like me
I don't understand how you just don't see

I've left so many baffled by my ways
Because no matter what happens I push everyone away