You are now my suicide

Sitting with my head in my hands
And knees drawn into my chest
Staring at a page before me
Of words which I confessed

Words may seem like nothing
But I sit shaking with clenched fists
Saying aloud the words of sorrow
Carved deep into my wrists

I am sick and tired of feeling lost
Having headaches and being ill
Having people looking after
Saying, “Have you’re took your pill?”

I don’t need pills to take away all that I am feeling
Because I have a soul inside my shattered heart
I know it’s been a challenge but I can push through
But staring at the scars of my past I don’t know where to start

That’s why I am asking for some help from up above
Some help from a greater force
Some help and love that I can take
Without feeling of remorse

So I ask with my arms out stretched
Showing the world my sin
So please dear father, take them away
My demons from within

Please God now I am begging
Forgive for being wrong
I need to be within your heart
A place where I belong

So here I am, I’m asking for forgiveness
And I know it’s a lot to give
But I need a dream in life
Not only just to live

So I am baring my scars
For everyone to stare
Thinking of the pain that caused them
All the misery and despair

I guess God was the wrong person to turn to
But he was the last and final straw
Until our eyes and minds met
And into my heart you saw

You are better then an angel
You are a special kind of friend
I have someone to hold my hand
Help my through to the end

Your smile made me drop my blade
I looked inside you mind
I know now, looking further
A shinning light I‘ll find

I don’t need a Bible or a crucifix round me neck
I don’t need to pray for courage or hope
I have no more scissors to hold to my skin
And my noose is now a rope

I have won this fight
My scars I never need to cover
Because u have found a best friend
To be my guide and lover

I want to thank you being the reason
I continue to write this down
You are now my suicide
And in you I wish to drown