Just hold me

I look down at my wrists
A couple bruises from snapping my rubber bands
I don’t like to hurt myself
I wish I could just cry
There will always a person around me
Or an excuse that prevents me from shedding one tear
I wait all day for my phone to ring
Just so I know I’m not alone
When I’m talking on the phone
As long as I can hear that one special voice
I know I’ll be ok ..as long as I stay on the phone
After I get off I start thinking of things
I start wondering why I do the things I do
I start feeling sick..
Now I know what they mean when they say
“Thinking could kill a person”
It’s not a figure of speech to me anymore
It’s an actual meaning
This life that I live could be so much better
If I would just accept that my life isn’t that bad
I know I say it always is…
But the truth is I guess I have it a lot better than other people
I have just been too stupid to open my eyes and realize it
I have a perfect boyfriend
A nice mom, and dad
An okay brother.
I mean who has a perfect sibling??
I get to do whatever I want, whenever I want
But just because I have these things
It doesn’t mean that I don’t have problems
It doesn’t mean that I don’t have the right to cry
I just wish that someone would hold me
And would let me just cry
They wouldn’t ask any questions
They would just hold me…..