Depressions confine

by Lenny   Aug 20, 2005


As life scrapes our souls up from the pavement of un-knowing,
And entraps us in his cage of depression,
We slowly begin to open our eyes and peer out between the bars,
To see the world to which we could have belonged.

As we sit there, trapped, tying nooses around our necks and making slits along our wrists,
We wish we hadnt caught the virus that now maims our lives,
Addictive, un-curable, un-escapable,

Those outside seem to taunt us with their perfect lives,
Green eyed we sit in our confine.

For ever searching,
For a break in the bars, a key to the lock,

Some break through…only to return again,

And when we reach realisation that there is no escape,
When we finally find the key to the life outside,
We take our lives -the only escape we will ever know.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Drew Gold

    Alright, i totally disagree with those who say rhyming would improve the quality of this piece.. i dont see where (s)he gets that idea, but im sure they're just always used to the poems with the endless slew of the same lines, over n over.. as for your piece,.. the beginning is a good metaphor, as much as its weird.. i gather that life scraps up our soul from the unknowing, thus bringing us into the knowing and consequently, bringing on depression.. the third stanza could be very much strengthened, i believe, by explaining how those poeple taunt you; do they do it consciously or unconsciously, and give examples or each.. the next stanza,.. forever is one word.. i think the line after the 4th stanza could be expanded, but that'd be up to you..

    When we finally find the key to the life outside,

    the second 'the' could be removed, but that might change the idea just a lil bit...

    i find the ending to be a bit disappointing,.. its not bad, but it's just not that great of an ending,.. it does tie up the entire poem th0, such as the noose trying and wrist slitting, but its just not a strong ending.. i know you can think of a better one than that.. anyway.. another good poem from you.. keep it up..

  • 18 years ago

    by M MEM

    This is good. represents life well 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by gasping for air

    Awesome job.. you can do better with time and practice and experience.. but you're definitely on your way.. you've got talent inside of you... so keep it up
    take care of you
    amanda

  • 18 years ago

    by Delo

    It's good... but if you would've tried to rhyme it would be even better ;)

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