All a dream?

I love you so much..

you've been there for me
since we were kids..

you know me better
than i know myself..

no one's ever gotten so close
to me by yards..

i usually push people away
but i let you in, in my heart..

they think i don't care
when they talk behind my back..

but you know i do
and you respect that..

you promised me that
you would never leave my side..

but where are you now?

you've gone home
to where you belong..

you never said goodbye
you just closed your eyes..

i remember that day
like it was yesterday..

i cried until my eyes
were bloody red..

and sat on my knees for days on end
yelling at God for taking you away..

then one night
i fell asleep..

i had a dream
and you told me to hold on..

i woke up and told my mom
and she told me it was a sign..

i was to young to get what she meant
until now..

i realize she meant
i should be strong and hold on..

i thought i would never get threw it
but i did..

when people mention you
i still get tears in my eyes..

i loved you so much..

i still do
you should know..

every now and then
i have that same dream..

i wake up and
feel so strong, like i can get through anything..

i know if i think i can get threw anything
i can..

but some how i feel like your pulling me to you
like you need me now more than ever..

so one day in school
i went to the bathroom..

i pulled our my razor
and slit my writs..

i had blood on my clothes
on my jeans and the floor..

i got so scared
i ran to the nurse..

that's all i remember..

now here i am
sitting on the hospital bed..

dieing slowly
my mom holding my hand..

she's scared to death
she keeps staring at my wrists..

i try to hide them
but i can't move..

i gasp and she looks up
she says hold on.. no don't go!..

she screamed for the nurse
but when she got there it was too late..

i was on a journey to go home
to be with you..

i met you at the gate
i felt like i was just born..

the past was in the past
and i could live how i wanted..

i had everything
i ever dreamed of having..

--then i woke--