Thinking These THoughts Agin

I try to find peace of mind in these words but it is not to be. As I say theses thing I have to say they come out in a way that I never intended. Who am I to give advice when I can’t even get my own life right? I cant sleep staying up late in to the night trying to sort these thoughts I know I should give up but I am stubborn it was the way I was born no matter how many time I fail I get up and carry on. I hold my head up high in spite of my life so much anger and strife held in check just below the surface ready to come forth. I hold on to the hope that one I will be able to accomplish these goals set before me. Nobody can hear me when I say these word they are mostly for me and I say things like don’t worry about tomorrow everything will be ok one way or the other we all make mistakes just take what you have and learn don’t burn all your bridges cause you will have no where to go hold on to friends cause you never know when you will need someone to confide in. So many thing can go wrong but what about the things that can go right don’t dwell on the past it is done and over with look to the present and try to live life to the fullest cause you never know when you might go make peace with those close to you don’t act a fool depression is fiend that causes happy thoughts to die and brings tears to the eye deep dark thoughts at the back of my mind trying to escape how I hat the way that this life has turned out I never asked to be born now this life is getting boring need to find some newness how can i do this
With out messing up like I always do about this time. I move from place to place trying to find somewhere I might belong but I am losing hope as the years pass make one last desperate stand where I am and try to find something better weather or not it is to be I do not know all I can do is try Lonely days leading to lonely nights hungry for something new how much longer must I abide in this self inflected isolation. I have been alone for so long where has time gone. Find my self-wondering if it is my destiny to be all alone with out anybody to call my own. So I walk this lonely road aimlessly wandering from place to place till that fateful day when these lonely days are done and put behind me all I need if for that special someone to find me and remind me that I have so much to give. Life is hard no one ever said it would be easy believe me when I say that problems eventually fade away. Wake to a new put the past behind me and look to today finding a way to cope with all these problems with out turning to drugs or alcohol.