Where's My Strength?

by Rachele   Sep 2, 2005


Tears falling, vision's blurry.
I'm crying, and I'm feeling furry.

I'm scared to death to be myself, and I'm afraid of what I'll do.
I'm feeling lost and hopeless in this whole situation.

Everyday comes to me with another new breakdown,
And that's one thing I can always count on.

My eyes are getting puffy, but that's nothing new to me.
I'm feeling a sense of hatred that is buried down deep.

I'd give anything to be another person in a completely different life.
Cause being me doesn't sound like such a great life.

They've hurt me so badly, that I've never recovered.
And now I'm terrified of what I haven't uncovered.

I feel undiscovered, like I have no idea who I am.
I'm feeling like a person with a completely empty hand.

I'm tired of my ways.
Why does it have to be like this?

I'm feeling completely alone,
even though I know I'm not.

I'm feeling like a failure who's all stressed out.

Life's a big mystery to me that I can never figure out.
And when I finally think I do, I fill my head with doubt.

Everyone tells me that I'm strong,
but I think they're oh so wrong.

Cause I'm feeling like Tom,
who can never catch Jerry.

You always get so close,
but then you're always left with nothing.

And I'm feeling like Jerry,
who's always running from Tom.

Cause lately, I always seem to be running away from my fears.

But one day, I will be strong, and I will find my way.
But that day just won't be today.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Jasmyn

    I think you're a brilliant writer with some problems. i believe my best poems happen when im at my worst and it makes me sad to read your poems and know you're going through so much pain day after day. I personally am not into into cutting. i tried it because i heard it would ease the pain when i was in rehab. But i did try to kill myself by taking pills more than once. i know what it's like to be so far down you can't find your way anymore and i'm truly sorry you have to go through that. it's been almost a year since i last tried to end my life and i hope that i'm finally over it. the pain has lessened but it has never gone away. i'm not going to tell you that it all gets better because maybe it won't. i just hope one day you'll be able to find happiness within yourself, or at least enough understanding to give you the courage to put down the knife. i don't think rehab works personally. i met some great people in there that do cut and i believe when they went home it was same old, same old. it's up to you to find it within yourself and i wish you the best. I'm sorry if this 'advice' or whatever you want to call it is unwanted, but i couldn't read about your pain and not say anything. I truly with all my heart hope you find something, anything, that will help you out of this dark time. Keep your chin up. If you ever need someone to talk to, my e-mail is jasmyn_thornbro@yahoo.com. i check my e-mail everyday. i can't say i hope to hear from you, but i doubt your troubles have evaporated and i'm more than willing to lend an ear if you need one. i do hope however, that you will talk to me when you feel like you need someone. i know it's strange talking to someone you don't know. believe me, i've been through the counseling, phychiatrist, phycologist bull shit and it's no fun. but, i'm here. just so you know. just consider it. please. i wish you well. good luck

  • 18 years ago

    by sara

    Hey thanks for the comment, This is a really great poem and i go through alot of that stuff as well. I have been a cutter for 2 years now and write the same kind of stuff...anyways it was a great poem and keep up the good work!

  • 18 years ago

    by Michelle

    Very well expressed.... ***Big Hugs***

  • 18 years ago

    by Lu

    Nice expression of your feelings . Take out the double r in furry to fury . I think it's just a typo .Just thought I'd let ya know . Keep writing

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