Heart Surgeon

by Jamie   Sep 7, 2005


Remove the layer of skin
Tear away the broken heart
Analyze the problem
Then try to make it start

Are you left with failure?
Or did you succeed?
I know that I was denied
Yet I still proceed

Trying my best but it seems
I\'m just not getting anywhere
Blood keeps blurring vision
Oops, did that just tear?

Clumsy me, let me start again
Sew up the opened flesh
O shit did I just hit that vein
Blood and my needle mesh

God I'm stupid and so sorry
Here I have morphine and vicodin
Why the **** won't you stop bleeding?
Did I cut that deeply in?

I know you hurt just shut up
Screaming doesn't ease the pain
I told you its just a little slip
Honestly no need to complain

What, does blood make you sick?
Don't worry soon you'll have none left
I want to rid you of all bad things
Would killing be called a theft?

Hope not, cause your heart rate
Is immensely going down
Stripping off the depression
You had worn as a gown

You seem tranquil and relaxed
Painless and fulfilled
Laying restless on the table
See, I'm not all that unskilled

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Ashlee Nicole

    Holy Sh**!! I dunno who in their right f ign mind would have gave that poem a frickin 2??? Losers! They probably didn't understand it, so hey what you don't understand youdiss....I myself love this poem...Jamie this I feel is by far the BEST poem you've ever written...It was amazing....Every stanza pure metaphors...I'm sure everyone interpretted this in their own unique ways...I'm definately printing this off and It's going in my fave poems book of all time...Not to sound wierd but you should IM me with your last name so I can put it next to it...Just incase later on ya know...lol...You're hella talented....And I don't even think you know it...
    10/5...
    Great Job Jamie
    Thanks
    Ash

  • 18 years ago

    by Ashlee Nicole

    Holy Sh**!! I dunno who in their right f ign mind would have gave that poem a frickin 2??? Losers! They probably didn't understand it, so hey what you don't understand youdiss....I myself love this poem...Jamie this I feel is by far the BEST poem you've ever written...It was amazing....Every stanza pure metaphors...I'm sure everyone interpretted this in their own unique ways...I'm definately printing this off and It's going in my fave poems book of all time...Not to sound wierd but you should IM me with your last name so I can put it next to it...Just incase later on ya know...lol...You're hella talented....And I don't even think you know it...
    10/5...
    Great Job Jamie
    Thanks
    Ash

  • 18 years ago

    by shawn hoskins

    I thought it was pretty good myself it had a good rythm and it was not unlike most poems that are about the same thing its good to be creative.

  • 18 years ago

    by SexMeister69

    Jamie, I do not know why you get such low ratings! This was great. What can I say? The rhyming is precise and accurate (though a more rigid structure would be great). Perhaps the metre is dodgy at times, which makes the poem flawed, but still, such minor details do not account for such low votes. It fulfils its purpose of shocking the reader, perhaps more symbolism and grotesque diction might help. I really don't know what else to say. You are truly great. Keep it up!

  • 18 years ago

    by Jamie

    Hehe that was meant to be the effect
    : P

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