Forbiding Love, Forbiding Bullet

I'm so lost
you confuse the hell out of me
raised eyebrows
cold hands
feelings filled with disbelief
I'm walking the line
trying to remember to put on foot in front of the other
afraid of what each new day brings
the past burning with tears
what if I fell?
would there be anyone
down below
ready to catch me with considering arms?
I wait for you
mouth dry
eyes red
body chilled
no one appears in the distance
the dark glow of night surrounds me
all alone
waiting for so long
to just hold you in my arms
clawing my way up
gritted teeth
nostrils flared
heart heavy
filled with dread
for I know the essence of what lurks at the bottom
death, they say
is for the weak minded
breathing you in
keeping you inside my lungs
never wanting to let go
silence, it will be OK
exhale
now I'm searching all over again
looking for your face among the crowd...