Not What You See

Reading over my shoulder, stealing glances at my thoughts
sentences made to rhyme with the demons that I fought.
Headphones provide the comfort of my alter-existence
where my deranged mind is the only one to listen.

You smell the poison, the cancer in my breath
you see me inhale death like It's all I've got left
You'll hear my words are slurred, but don't listen
because my altered intelligence never made a difference.

I wish for you to know that there is more to me
than the smart ass comments-although they're damn funny.
try to clear the smoke, before you choke
on my seemingly cold heart,
Maybe you'll find some feeling, in a mind devoid of compassion from the start.

Tell me you can look in my eyes and read me like the bible,
where my words are too complicated for your style.
Just read my mind, to diminish you biased thoughts
I was hoping you would see more than my distraught.

But I'm just that pitiful, tragedy in the back of your classroom
pale face swallowed by death, I only speak of doom.
This pen is always moving, but it's not about your history.
No, those numbers don't mean a thing.

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-*-Sorry if it's confusing...It's about my teachers and them thinking I'm just a lost cause. hence the "pitiful, tragedy in the back of your classroom." They only see the bored and sometimes mind-altered side of me. not the potential I carry.-*-