Damn It All

Why must i go through this?
when death seems so pleasing,
yet i am afraid,

I am afraid of whats after death,
i am afraid of darkness,
of being lonely in that coffin,
but sometimes i think,
is that what i want?

you have helped me be like this,
you shattered my innocence,
and shown me that you cant fully trust someone,
that death would ease everything,

BUT NO!
I will not give in,
and will not make you happy,
i will repay you with the pain you caused me,
i will destroy what is you,
and leave just a hollow self of what was,

but sadly....,
i care for you to much to cause harm to you,
if only i didn't have this stupid emotion called love,
Damn It All.