What can i do?
someone please help me
i feel like i lost you because of me.
don't you see?
i would die for you.
i would break something for you.
all i want is you and no one else.
I'm sorry for everything i did.
it was stupid and i can't take this.
i just miss..
i just miss the way you love me.
the way i love you.
but now all i can have is the tears.
i have this fear.
but to me now this is a damn nightmare.
that no one in the world would care.
wouldn't wanna even bare.
in this world i just wanna die somewhere.
no one is there for me now.
to me you were my best friend.
i thought till the end.
but i guess that wasn't true.
i guess i fell for you and you never caught me.
because i hit the pavement.
broke my heart into pieces.
my skill came after that.
now I'm thinking stupid things.
trying to break my arm.
someone tell me please how to do it
I'm giving up on so much.
you gave up on me.
and that's what i guess i have to see.
that the one i really loved.
never wanted to catch me.
never wanted to be with me.
maybe never really loved me.
but i believe him what he says.
i just want to hold him.
i just want to give him a kiss.
but to me my life is over.
to me i won't make the crime.
but maybe tonight.
I'll be in the hospital.
Ok I've noticed you poem's stanza's are just a bunch of words thrown together. Try making each stanza the same size. It not only helps the reader read it better, it also makes it look more organized. Used capitolization and use commas, periods, ect. No critisism just advice.
Very well done though I really liked this poem. God Bless 4/5
Sorry I gave you a 4 I just couldn't really grasp the poem very well and it didn't really flow to me.
At first I thought that he was in the hospital and you were mourning him, but as it was, I still liked it.
Also that you said I'd break something for you, and I thought you were talking about a vase or something, and then I realized that you probably meant a bone, or a heart... Nice.
13 years ago
by Tara Kay
Aww, its sad, isnt it. But you gave it some passion that i loved.
Keep it up