An explanation to u:

If I'm Smiling then I'm lying.
I'm not happy nor am i sad.
I'm confused though u don't know.
My feelings aren't simple so I'm not gonna explain.
Don't tell me how i feel because u have no idea.
You are not me.
You never will be me.
But i do hope one day u will finally see.
That I'm not sad, but I'm not close to being happy.