Suicidal Conscience

by Jamie   Oct 1, 2005


Veins are meant for you to slice
Grab a razor, no need to be precise
If your faint heres a little advice
Pop a few pills, they should suffice

If bloods not your thing, pick up the gun
Quickly pull the trigger to get the job done
You shouldnt feel it, it might even be fun
The anticipation goes from a million to none

Nobody likes you, but the rope looks good
Yeah youre a reject, loser, misunderstood
Dont back down now, you promised you would
Youre such a f-u-c-king loser, really you should

The top of that building, god its so high
And just for a second you can pretend to fly
Gravity, you can try to defy
You are so dumb and you deserve to die

Darkness takes hold and night fills the air
Your feeling brave theres no need to beware
Really no way you can try to prepare
Step off the curb and fall into a car unaware

Death will solve all of your complications
Embrace the peaceful internal vibrations
One slit and you have arrived at your final destination
Quit being lazy, and begin your termination

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by .

    Wow this is really good 5/5 deffinately I really like this poem! Great job!
    Becky
    xoxo

  • 18 years ago

    by Drew Gold

    Definitely not one of your stronger poems.. i dont really like the poems message (kill yourself) but with the title in mind, i can take it easier as a poem portraying your suicidal conscience, rather than a poem telling everyone to kill themselves.. lol. anyway,.. as for the poem.. it was a little shaky throughout..

    You shouldnt feel it, it might even be fun
    The anticipation goes from a million to none
    those rhymes seem a bit forced, and \"it might even be fun\" sounds really forced.. just doesnt fit for me..

    Nobody likes you, but the rope looks good
    this didnt really connect,.. i think a better way to express it would be something like \"nobody likes you, but the ropes always a handy friend\"
    furthermore, i think the lines \"nobody likes you\" are a bit trite, and should be scrapped altogether..

    Really no way you can try to prepare
    Step off the curb and fall into a car unaware
    that first line contradicts the whole message of the poem before this.. this line seems forced and the next line.. falling INTO a car doesnt really sound right, and using unaware in that way is a little awkward..

    all in all,.. this piece depicted self-loathing and a lacking confidence, which seems a reason for the suicidal conscience.. it didnt have much for hidden meaning or a moral.. its just flat out, blow your fuc.king brains out.. i didnt enjoy this as much as your others, i think the flow stuttered a lot at times and a lot of rhymes/ideas seemed forced, but its not a bad poem..