Love's Blood Spattered Canvas

In the midst of my foreboding silence

Your name fell upon my tongue.

To taste the bitter sweetness of the past,

A reminder of why I'm young.

You are careening through my mind

A mistake that I should have caught.

Perhaps I've lost myself too quickly,

But it was better to love than not.

Too many a time have I found myself

Glaring at the building blocks of love

At times I see a glimpse of hope

More times than not, I see the lack thereof.

I'm breaking the slavery of your silence

Somehow I find the will to carry on.

I care who it is you are to this day

But I loved the man that is gone.

Call to me when he re-inhabits your body

Because now breathing simply is complex

When you're got giving anything back to me.

You take my words out of context.

My stomach is now a blackened abyss

That beats despite the short supply of heart.

In my head, I see you laughing.

You turn my pain into a beautiful work of art.

You stream an empty canvas with my blood

And expect me to be thrilled

Your beady eyes wait for a reaction

Upon sight of my sacrificial blood you spilled.

How may I put this into words

So that you may one day understand?

I fell in love with a boy once before,

But now I'm desperate for a man.

And the portrait of my bondage

Is tearing at the frigidly sewn seams.

Crumbling in a silent serenity, I am

That is located in my forsaken dreams.

Crimson flowing waters I cannot surpass

Perhaps you've finally made a fool of me.

Be careful not to trip on your way out

Over the reflective mess and muted debris.

More times than not your silence is deadly

It shoots its carelessly crafted dart

And more times than not you've filled a canvas

With the love that seeps from my heart.

--Dedicated to a nameless figure who has deeply penetrated my self control and left me in a wreckage I cannot seem to break through--