One selfish drink

I promised myself just one drink.
I didn't know it would escalade.
I'm sorry mom and dad,
Because its you I have disobeyed.

I never should have taken your keys,
and gotten behind the wheel of the car.
I wish I had thought twice,
when I ordered another drink at the bar.

Sirens are now roaring in my ear,
as I lay face down on the floor.
I am dismangled in my blood and glass.
This pain; so unbearable- I cant take it anymore.

Each breath I take burns my chest.
It feels like I'm being stabbed by a thousand knives.
So many thoughts are running through my head,
as the end arrives.

..Daddy I forgive you
for every bruise from head to toe.
We've grown so far apart from that.
You will always be my hero.

Daddy, my poppy seed, the courage you had,
to stand up and be a man.
To realize you needed to change your ways
and not to solve our problems with an angered hand.

I'm sorry for stressing you out
and for all I put you through.
Just know I meant the opposite,
every time I screamed "I hate you"

My dearest mother,
or Momma-Lou I should say.
You always tried to be #1 mom,
And you achieved it everyday.

I love you so much mom.
Thank-you for all you have given me.
Mommy please forgive me
For putting you through this misery.

To my big brother.
I know we never got along.
I don't know how it happened,
or where it all went wrong.

Do you remember that time I ran away
because you violated my privacy?
I forgive you.
I know you went out looking for me.

So many times I wish I could have hugged you.
Maybe we could start off new.
We could have erased the past,
and all the pain we put each other through.

Although I wish we could have been closer,
I am grateful for what we had.
I forgive you too for every bruise.
I love you Momo so please don't be sad.

To my sister- my best friend, my soul mate.
I don't know where to begin.
Ill start off with a thank-you
For being there through thick and thin.

Whether it was problems with boys,
or with my friends,
you guided me every step of the way.
You didn't stop until together we reached the end.

Words cant even describe
how much I have looked up to you.
You have accomplished so much in your life.
I only wish I could have too.

You've made me laugh until I cried,
always brought a smile to my face.
We've gone through our share of downfalls,
But not a single one would I erase.

You are my idol
and forever will be.
I'm sorry for being selfish.
kookaburra-don't be mad at me.

To my true friends,
who have been there every step of the way.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart
For not once did you betray.

Thank-you for the laughter.
Thank-you for every tear.
Sorry for every fight.
Just know I will always be near.

You have all made me who I am.
I am grateful for all you have done.
Although I will not be there for the journey,
your lives have just begun.

To my baby cousin Jaiden.
Who I need more then air.
I'm sorry for not being there to watch you grow up.
I hope you know how much I cared.

Jay-Jay I wish I could see you smile,
one last time before I go.
How much Didi loves you-
you will never know.

Now for the hardest good-bye.
Goodbye to the life that was ahead of me.
I ruined everything I had going for me!
Now my future is history.

I wont get to be a volleyball player
on the California beach.
I'll never get to be a poet
With lessons I had potential to teach.

Good-bye to being a mother,
Good-bye to raising 3 genuine lives.
Good-bye to experiencing true love.
Goodbye to being a wife.

I am so sorry to every one
For being so selfish when drinking that last beer.
I would have never left the house
If I knew it would bring the end near.

Although you cannot see me,
I will always be there.
If you ever need a hand to hold,
You can reach me in your prayers.

I will be all around you
Each time you step outside.
I am every tree that shades your face.
I am every butterfly you see in the sky.

I am every warm breeze
That sends shivers down your spine.
I am the morning suns bright rays
That will forever shine.

I am sorry
but I must now say my final good-bye.
Promise to keep me close to your hearts.
In times of need-Just look up in the sky.