Lost 'em both

I did it again
I can barely look at you
I've committed another sin
I don't know what's left to do

My eyes are pushed shut
I can stop the out pour of tears
I should have told you up front
That I just wanted committed years

I don't like lying
Will you ever hold me after this
My breath weakens, I feel dying
I'm waiting for just one more kiss

Love, I don't know
Him, yes I love a bit
No, please don't go
Strike three, what a hit

First I lost him
He was my first love
The lights begin to dim
Our new relationship, push & shove

If I had a choice
Yeah, I might do it differently
Maybe, if given any choice
But I'm at a pause, momentarily.

Why me once again its me
I can't seem to hang onto you
What do I have to do to make you see?
Anything and everything I will do

I can barely look at him
Hurt, yeah it hurts forever
Forget all of them!
never, no don't say never