Second Best

Sitting in the classroom,
Overhearing your conversation with others,
About that crush you had last year,
Not wanting to say but eventually giving in.
Fighting back my tears,
Trying to not think about the fact I'm being ignored,
Focusing on happier memories,
When it was me and you having fun.
Coming back, was it a mistake?
I thought you wanted me here,
Yet you seem to spend all your time with her and him.
Criticizing, putting me down when I'm not around,
Saying that all I ever do is stress.
I thought you were my best friend,
But obviously how wrong I was,
I should of known right from the start,
I was never first, I was always going to be second best.
Sitting on my own, I imagine a wall around me,
Been hurt too many times now,
I can't take it no more,
I don't trust anybody now to come too close.
Pushing my friends away,
Distancing myself from others,
Not wanting to bother anyone,
Just sit here invisible to the eye,
Trying hard not to cry.
Acting to the world I'm fine,
But inside wanting to die,
All because I'm second best,
But surely I deserve more than this?
Just once, thats all I ask,
To win this race and getting to the finishing line first,
In front of the rest.

*This i hope speaks for itself. I've come to realize I'm second best with everybody and it hurts. I don't feel I can have anybody that close to me anymore incase I'm not good enough...*