Casket of my Desperation

by Jamie   Oct 11, 2005


Victim:
Call out for me and Ill make it
Did I turn out not as youd expected
My heart is drenched in black
Without hope Ive been neglected
The grave isnt complete without a body
Ill go, die from my heart that youve infected
Curse me and beat me I want you anyways
I cant erase all the bruises Ive collected

"Killer":
My hearts been torn in two
Withering away, must have been mistaken
The hate thats inside of me
I cant give back to you what I cant awaken
Shattered hopes and dreams
Choking on broken hearts Ive taken
And we wont be together because
The selfish tend to be left unshaken

Victim:
I dont care what you say
Just come facade all this pain
You wouldnt have to be alone
Could be my lover laced with cocaine
Why cant I call you or why
Did I promise you I would refrain?
Now my heart plays static
As my electricity has been murdered by the rain

"killer":
Your breath is stained with blood and this
Sociopath lusts heartless assassination
And if you play the victim you shall be
A faithful actress and follow regulation
Silver lined kisses trailed by your casket
So unattractive is your fervid desperation
So leave foot prints in the ground snow paved
But make them in segregation

Victim:
Cries of heartbreak why cant you hear me?
Or bare all the pain of your affliction
Trapped by tombs and hopeless suicides
Desperate for tears of this sick addiction
Cast through the numbness finding nothing
You have just added to the boneless friction
And all I can do is sit and suffer
Through my cold hearted crucifixion

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Carmen

    Whoah..... very.. different. i liked it though. i liked the originality

  • 18 years ago

    by ShhhhItsASecret©

    Jamie, this is a very good poem. I really liked your rhyming scheme.:D I also liked the whole Victim/"killer" thing. It was really interesting and it was a great poem! Keep it up. 5/5!
    ~BJ~

  • 18 years ago

    by Britney

    Wow Jamie! I reallie loved this one and your rite it was a bitt hard to understand at first but as you read on you begin to understand.. i really liked how it was so unique great job. 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Truest Lies

    Ouch--very, very strong. I just had trouble working out who the victim and the killer were, but I got the general idea. And how dare you say you suck at writing! Its not true! You must have quite a lot of talent, just time to exercise it.

    Good Writing!
    beth

  • 18 years ago

    by HansRik

    If that was not good, I cannot wait to see a good one, it would be a chef d'oeuvre! This was an excellent work! WOW! The poem starts and ends excellently. The style is also really unique, and the use of metaphor is very efficient. The dialogued structure is very consistent and helps to develop the meaning. Very well done indeed.