A Last Attempt

I wish i was as invisible, as you see me to be.
maybe then i could find sense in this mess, and stop these thorns from twisting inside of me.

I'm now on the outside looking in, on the life to which i used to belong.
writing about the boy i used to know, my inspiration for many a sad song.

I'm standing under his porch light, banging on his front door.
waiting for him to answer, for a conversation more forced than before.

I'm putting in the effort, expecting to be refused.
But he must know the excuse "I've been busy" is quickly becoming over-used.

I'm trying to rebuild these bridges, the ones unintentionally burned.
I'm covering up my make believe scars, the ones i have not yet earned.

For these are not reals trials, simply ditches in a pot-holed road.
so I'm dropping my emotional baggage, to lighten my heavy load.

He was the best first boyfriend, that i could ever have asked for,
but we always said that we were friends first, that we'd stay in touch for sure.

but now I'm writing yet another letter, that will certainly go un-replied,
and yet again, one more time, of answers i will be denied.

Don't be afraid of me, I don't need you like i did.
and there's no restrictions on myself, no longer is anything hid.

Here are my raw emotions, the one's I'm sure you're dying to hear about,
I'm happy, I'm OK, I'm having fun, but I'll still always be here to bail you out.

I know that you don't miss me, so i will not pursue,
but i miss you not for what you were to me, i just miss you for you.

So here's goodbye to an old boyfriend, maybe a hello to a long lost friend.
a welcome to those who want it, and a last attempt to make amends.