All I wanted

...This isn't a poem...obviously, it's a take-out from Killing Raein, a book I'm writing, well trying to write so yes, i thought I'd explain that....

All I wanted was somebody who cares.
I sit in my bed, legs touching my chest and my hands wrapped around them. Hugging myself, trying to make the pain go away. It's hard to breathe. I choke down the stale air. I'm trying not to think, I don't want to think, not about you. But I can't help it my mind is racing; it's starting to scare me. So many thoughts are pouring into my brain, I hold my head to try and stop the thumping noise.
The frustration is killing me; I grip tightly onto my hair, daring myself to tear it out. Tears start to form, I swallow them back, there's no way I'm going to cry over you, no way in hell. My face is burning, my hands are trembling, and I can't breathe.
F UCK! Why is this happening to me? I just want it to stop! I want this all just to disappear; I want to disappear. Is that such a difficult request?
A single tear dropped. It seeped into the cotton bed sheet changing the colour to a deeper red. I cursed at myself for letting that tear drop. How dare you make me feel this way, what right do you have to do this to me? I take in deep breaths and try to exhale all of the horribleness.
Who's going to save me?..........No one.
Every time I think about you, and what you did to me, the knife that you stabbed into my back twists in a little deeper. The pain and rage pours out through my fists, which I use to punch the wall with. The paint is starting to crack with every blow; I'm starting to crack.