Scream, It's just a dream

Finally
I can scream all I need to
Finally I can cry
No need to worry if they hear me
No One will ask me why
Screaming
I cant believe this pain
No one understands
To feel like for a sec I went insane
Tears run down my face
I cant believe what I have done
I am a total disgrace
All my feelings come undone
I cant hold on
I just have to let go
No one is home to ask questions
No one will know
The pain I felt
The pain I still feel
My body and mind
Still wonder if it was real
It was so unbearable
I had no one to talk to
No friends to share the pain with
What could I do?
I hate myself
But he cant know
And to keep him happy
My hurt I wont show
Its not fair
But what choice did I have
Its not just the physical pain
But my heart tore in half
My heart went cold
And my mind slowed down
No one there cared
No one I knew was around
I felt so alone
I wanted to run away
Never look back
And ask for forgiveness everyday
I regret not being strong
Being a coward to it all
I should have stood up for you
But instead I let you fall
The time wasn't right
And you were just not meant to be
But if that is true
Than why did God put you in me?
Ashamed, guilty, and sad
Feelings that I cant share
theres no one to listen
No one that might care
So I cry my eyes out
And scream a couple of times
Open my notebook and write
These unforgiving lines
Its hard
No one knows
Cant talk to him
Cant let the pain show
No one is here
No one has a clue
That today I gave up
And got rid of you
Sorry
I don't know what else to say
You were a part of me
And I just threw you away
Like stepping into cold water
Going into shock
Feeling like I was suffocating
Messed up cold and hot
Reaching out for help
Only grabbing air
Knowing I was alone
That no one was there
The decision was made
I couldn't turn back
No one would want you
It was a simple fact
Three minutes
Thats all it took
And now my face in the mirror
I cant even look
Life is so unfair
But at least I have one
It had one too
But now its gone
I know I had a choice
And what I did was wrong
I swear I kept saying sorry
All day long
So now I am sitting here
On my bedroom floor
Crying myself to sleep
Because I can take no more
I got to keep quiet
All the screaming is done
The pain is still here
But whats done is done
I am so sorry
It was just a dream
A nightmare nothing real
At least thats how it seems
So I'll Scream, its only a dream

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