Im a star beyond your reach

It starts with stars beyond the skies
beyond the heavens beyond our reach
but we wounder we try
we reach out and grab

i am a star
i am a shinning star
and i am beyond your reach
i don't need words i don't need sound

you see it, you see it when you look at me
I'm different
and no matter how many ships you build

you will never reach me.
i exist among you
i speak to you(i keep quiet)

i am a giant i cant Be missed
you see me and you want to know
what i am, what it is like,
to be me to exist like i do
and its painful and it hurts and its wonderful

and chaotic and tiering
and its not whining its not its not
it just hurts and it needs to be expressed
you need to hear it and its not whining
because its true

i bleed i cry i die for you
defecate my pain for you but you'll never know

because you are you and i am me
and i am cursed in love with you
and with myself and with everyone
and with the earth and nature and my pain

and my struggling, struggling to breathe
to think to be understood and accepted
(do i want that?)

is that possible not just for me
but for everyone
they're all irrelevant
you are irrelevant

do you understand?
you mean nothing to me
nothing, you are the pain i defecate
i need your acceptance
please love me

love me, love me and be gone
go go away, i don't have time for you

theres no time, no time
i have a lifetime to figure all this out
but just one life, thats it just one
and it'll end,it will end

with the stars and ill be one of them
a giant and you'll look at me with your telescope
shinning beyond the sky
(but you'll never reach me)

I'm a star, I'm untouchable
I'm special, I'm different
I'm superior and inferior
important and unless

I'm in my head, I'm in your way
and you will look at me
and you will reach out and you will see

that i am a ghost, I'm a mirage
a dream, I'm everything you think and feel
and want and love and hate

here i sit all empty hearted, with a book bag full of empty promises as i stare into the bathroom wall that is my future
i can learn and study until my brains turns muddy
or i can speak what i know
unfiltered and pure as snow as enraged youth of another cent

~Brittany~
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