Past or present

I sit alone
with two pictures
one of how things used to be
5 years ago
and the other of how things are now
the past is me and you together
happy and smiling, laughing and joking
the present me and my blade
crying and screaming, hating and hurting
see the day i lost you
was the day i lost all faith in life
the blade took your place
best friend to best friend
the day i read you letter
was the my world came crashing down
looking around at the suits and skirts
smiles and laughs
hating them just because they are alive
but mainly because they are together
they carry on and move on
me i stood still wishing
to see your face
i miss you and your smile
your jokes and personality
ill never forget the good times
your always in my heart and head
don't forget me
sleep tight we will be together again