Why?

Here i am putting myself through so much
and there you are not giving a damn
i picked you for a reason
and now you don't act like my man

you say you love me
but the feelings you never show
you can say it over and over again
but i truly will never know

i tell my friends that we love each other
and we're just fine
but i realized I'm lying to them
each and every time

what am i doing?
why am i lying to myself?
why am i lying
that we're something else?

what am i doing to myself?
why am i helping this happen?
why am i causing myself to cry
over and over again?

why am i trying to ignore that we wont work?
that our relationship is going to hell
its never going to get better
its never going to get well