Not me

I havn\'t been me for quite a while
i hide it with a smile
that \"pretty\" face you see just isn\'t me
underneath everything
you\'ll see me out and clear
is a lost little girl
running around in fear
wrapped up in pain
feeling like my lifes gone down the drain
can\'t seem to get up
can\'t seem to fight back
i don\'t ever seem to know where im at
days and nights go by
and i\'m still wondering why i\'m still living
there is no meaning
why am i here?
the question still lingers in my head
as i lay here on me bed
i\'ve been through hell
can\'t you tell?
it never seems to end
i see everyone smiling
i see everyone laughing
i see everyone talking
and i think to myself,
where did that go?
i once had it all
but one day it just slipped away
where did i go wrong?
where have i gone?
so many questions
yet, so little answers
all i want is someone who will be there
who will always come near
who will find me when im lost
when i can\'t seem to get out of that little dark room
someone who i can run to with all my fears
someone who will wipe my tears
someone who will catch me when i feel like im falling
someone who wil see though me adn tell me who i really am
and give me the strength i need so i can go on
cause when i see my blood
it all goes to pieces
i don\'t know what to do
then i feel my tears rolling down my cheeks
i know then that this is too much
i cant handle it all
i just hope next time i pick up that blade
i\'ll still be ble to live
to begin a new day.