Since you left

The morning comes again,
and I don't want to get out of bed.

I ask myself "what's the use?"
Something that never goes unsaid.

I get on my feet, the cold
air is worse than before,

The pressure I put upon my
body, holding my weight, I hit the tiled floor.

I pick myself back up, walk it off
and wash my face,

I glance at myself in the mirror,
and scold myself with disgrace.

I throw on a pair of jeans, a shirt and a scent.

The scent it smells so pretty, it says the things I meant.

I put on my makeup, redoing eyeliner due to recent crying.

It's only been 25 minutes,
I still feel as if I'm dying.

I get in the car, it's quiet, i close the door and walk on in.

I walk around, 4 people are there,
I know Ill never win.

I sit at a table, I put my head down, I close my eyes real tight.

I don't cry, I'm in public, I\'m fine, just fine alright.

I go to my first class, then my second and third.

I act normal, I'm safe, or so they think they've heard.

fourth, fifth, and sixth pass by, the day is almost done.

I wish it was like the old days, back when I acted wild and always had fun.

lunch i sit outside, the cold wall, the cold air, is the highlight of my day.

seventh hour bell rings, but I want to sit outside, I want to stay.

I go to seventh and then to eighth,

the end of the day bell rings,
and then i know I'm safe.

I get on the bus, stare out the window, and get off my stop.

Go inside, get picked up, go home,
I feel my stomach drop.

I get to my room, I see all the pictures from before and rip them
off the wall.

I break down, I cry, sing a song, sobbing, i fecked up it all.

I settle down, i put the pictures back to their given place.

I take a marker and scribble on the picture, I scribble out my face.

We were best friends, don't you remember the time?

We used to laugh for hours, things were perfectly fine.

I turn on my music, the words streaming through my ears.

I'm alone, I hate it, one of my biggest fears.

I wait for you to call, turn up the ringer, you never do.

I know that's too much to ask, I don't expect much from you.

I go to sleep, the moment of my day.

That I can drain out everything, I close my eyes, things just go away.

The morning comes again,
and I don't want to get out of bed.

I ask myself "what's the use?"
Something that never goes unsaid.