Goodbye and what...

Before you came in, my life is in full control,
I know what I want, I know what to do, I know where to fall,
then just like the ray of light you came my way one night,
without any further do you make your way into my heart.

I know I should have not started this in the first place,
cause any moment now I'll falter in one more further step I'll take.
cause I never thought it will be as deep as this
I guess goodbye...and...what...who cares on what I will miss.

then we get to know each other a little bit more
i came to talked to you and share each other's joy,
each smile of you cuts me like a knife that you throw toward my skin.
each laughter we have shared makes me sick and weak deep within.

don't get me wrong for what I said I don't mean to be sarcastic,
it's not that I don't want your company but the pain that it did.
I'm happy when I'm with you but die when we parted
I guess goodbye...and..what... just forget it...we can never be united.

each day passes and your memories lived to linger
your absence makes a difference it doesn't make me any better.
that's when I realized you have touched my life in a way that I cannot easily escape,
with this mindful of ideas my thought is on a crazy state.

It would have never gone this far if I didn't allow it
i should have told myself that you are not something to messed around with.
but what can i do now you left me restless so to speak.
I guess goodbye...and what...i miss you so much and I cannot deny it.

but i don't wanna sound like someone who would have hated you for what happen,
I just want you to know that even if it's getting harder I still appreciate your existence.
you made my life changed and that something that I will cherish for so long
even though i know your traces from the past was all I can take with me as i go on.

cause you came and inspire me in the wrong time when I can't be free,
you lighted my way in the wrong place where I am not supposed to be.
you made me happy in a wrong way where dreams can never be real.
I guess goodbye...and what...thank you and I'll keep you forever with me...I will.

Lastly before I will regret the chance that I have to tell you this,
if it wasn't clear enough for you I'll read between the lines if you wish.
The feelings I am trying to relate is undeniably clear.
But unfortunately it was all behind my deepest and greatest fear.

Life have given me the choice through you to make,
but it also give me the most painful decision to take.
To love, to have it all, to lose and and have nothing at all.
I guess goodbye...and what...I'm sorry I was not as strong as you can recall.

I wish you all the best in life as you go along
don't worry about me I can always be strong.
just don't forget that once in your life you have remind someone that everything is possible,
that nobody can runaway easy and coward in trials of life that sometimes was so unthinkable.

I can't think of anymore reason to tell you what's behind all this words,
for crying out loud I will be honest to myself and to you for once.
It's really hard to tell you this and act next as if my life will still be the same as before
I guess goodbye...and I know....I love you so much but I have to let you go for I can't hold on anymore.