What have I done

I know its long but I would really appreciate it if you read..

I went to a party
Someone gave me a drink
She told me not to take it
But I didn't even think

I never knew what was coming
Something I expected the least
I never would have guessed
What would have happened next

I kept getting drink after drink
Until I couldn't even walk
He offered to help me out
So I got into his car

He took me to an abandoned house
And told me everything was alright
I got a little spooked
But I still went inside

He took me to a bed
And told me to lay down
I said "No I wanna go"
But he told me not to make a sound

He pinned me down
And wouldn't let go
I started to scream
Just wishing it was all a dream

Please stop
Don't do this to me
This isn't how
I pictured it to be

My first time was suppose to be beautiful
With someone I loved
Not here in this situation
With someone I barely even knew

All that was running through my head
How could I have been so dumb
Its all my fault
What have I done

As tears ran down my cheeks
I shouted out your hurting me
Please
Just let me be

He got up and started to walk away
I layed there crying
Asking myself how dumb could I be
How couldn't I see

As I walk in my door
My mom asked me where Ive been
I said nowhere
And walked farther in

I opened the door to my room
And I walked in
My face was full of tears
And my head was full of fears

I tried to lay in my bed
But that whole night
Everything was running through my head
Replaying over and over

I just wish
I hadn't even drank
Then maybe
I wouldn't have gotten raped