To Far

When I get dropped off
I walk in the door
I put my stuff down
And open the drawer

I pull out a knife
And try to cut deep
But the knife wasn't sharp enough
So I start to weep

Tears are running down my face
As I walk to the gun case
Thoughts and fears are running through my head
That's it he's pushed me to far

I take out a gun
Take out all the bullets
Put one back in
And spin

I think if I die
Its meant to be
But if I don't
Then this life was meant for me

I put the cold barrel against my head
And pull the trigger
What happened
Am I dead?

I don't know if I am finished with this poem yet, but I hope you guys like it... I have had a similar experience to this with my friend.