Was It Worth It?

It's screaming in my face, telling me to give in, even when I don't want to.
And lately it's become something I can't beat.
Something I can't live without.
And now it's back again, and I gave in.
Why does it have to be so strong?
Why has this become my whole life?
Because if I threw it away, I wouldn't be me.
And here I am, on my own, facing this alone.
And you can try to pull me up off this ground.
But no matter what, I'll keep falling down.
And now I've drowned.
So tell me, when you first picked up that knife,
Was it worth it?

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