Oh God How Dare You?

God how dare you?!
How dare you throw me in predicaments like this?
That leave me broken hearted, resulting to clinched fists.
Hurting me internally.
Tearing at me externally.
While I pray silently
for someone to love me eternally.

So so lonely day by day.
I'm broken in pieces someone fix me.
My own mind is destroying my soul.
Confusing my body as pain takes its toll.

God how dare you?!
You've given up on me like everyone else.
Pretending you care only when I hurt myself.
I'm stuck in my mind that lives its own.
With a conscience that helps me reap what's sewn.

Your toying with my emotions,
pulling at their strings,
so that one minute I'm satisfied, the next I'm me.
The real me not the one with fake smiles.
The one that's still damaged, still a broken child.

God how dare you?!
How dare you let it go this far!?
Why can't you save me, send me a miracle?
I've waited patiently, what 16 years not enough?
Not enough pain to beckon your grace?
Not enough tears as I silently pray?

God how dare you,
let your world corrupt my life?
Send me through turmoil, sorrow and strife.
Who gave you the right to punish me for nothing at all,
but my innocent ignorance and tumbling downfall.

An angel's demise.
Oh God how dare I,
go from your loyal follower to whoever I am?
Living day by day dwelling in paint, staying broken.
I'm begging you to fix me, but I haven't earned your time.
It's not your fault I've failed my own life.

For God I have no purpose no reason to be.
So I'm constantly wondering why you chose me.
Of all the souls why my darkened one?
I'm ungrateful, unworthy let me go on.

Oh God I'm so torn!
I'm in tiny pieces Lord scatter me, I'm no more.
Blow me in your winds, settle me deeper than earth's core.
Let me burn, be what you meant me to be.
Just an example of a lost soul, what not to be.
Seemingly perfect to the untrained eye,
but despicable and black on the inside.

Oh God bring me peace!!
I want like your others Lord please!!
God why must I be me?