XxSweet Dreams....Last poemxX

**I know its really long but please read it**

The days are getting harder
the nights seem so much longer
And I'm just so sick of staying strong
I've held it in for so long

Its just built up so much i can't handle it any longer
I've been threw more s|h|i|t then you can imagine
I've had it all, from the drugs and threw the pain
The feeling of depression is here

Every night my cheeks become stained
From mascara, I'm so sick of all this crying
I'm so sick of trying to fake it just to please you people
Suicide only crossed my mind once before, but it wasn't serious

But now.... the thought of death seems so pleasant
I was never the one to cut my wrist
or push to see how much my body could take
Cause life is not something to play with

But here i am...at my lowest once again
eyes full of tears n questions not answered
Nobody to talk to nobody that can truly understand
I'm cold, I'm tired, i don't want to go on like this i hate who I've become

So i made a plan. one to end my life
Please understand that I'm not trying to give up
But, I'm letting the real me out
and Showing that i am scared, that i am weak, just like everyone else

I've been so strong, not once have i let them see me down
But this worlds gotten to me
I can't hold it in no more

And theres nobody i can tell that will understand
So tonight i will lock my door tightly
hold the gun, and before my finger pulls I'll whisperer "sweet dreams", for i will not wake the next morning.