Her demise in the eyes of others was his happiness.
He loved falsely leading her on,
telling her anything to make her happy,
but then in front of others,
ripping her to pieces.
He really didn\'t know how much he hurt her sometimes
or how many times a day tears stung her eyes because of him.
He didn\'t seem to get how hard she had fallen for him
or how her life now revolved around him and his acceptance of her...
His acceptance.
That is what would get her in the end.
Her need to please.
Her need to have his attention on her.
Part of her wishes she had never gotten involved with him,
but another part wonders
what life would be without ever have meeting him.
But that doesn\'t matter...
that\'s not an option anymore.
He tore her down again today.
Picked the side of the oppressor.
He said stuff,
that while she knows he was just messing around
it hurt.
He didn\'t see the tears on her cheeks
or how she hid from the eyes of anyone else,
just so they wouldn\'t see her weakness.
She hated acting like this because of a guy.
She had always told her friends to never let a guy get to you
that what anyone else thinks or says about you don\'t matter
but now look at her.
Crying over a few stupid little words.
She tried her best to pretend none of it hurt,
agreeing with him,
turning on her heel
and walking away.
She tried to ignore that stupid nagging she got in her head every time she was around him.
That stupid nagging that was telling her she would just get hurt again.
But she was with him....
and when she was with him,
nothing else really mattered.
She had had high hopes for them and their relationship.
She thought he\'d be different.
She thought he\'d be okay with hugging and kissing in school.
She thought she\'d be able to prove that he loved her...
but other then his word,
she had no proof.
She dreamed of the relationships she had seen,
where everyone knew they were in love.
She had given up everything for him and her little infatuation.
Hell, she had even gotten rid of a friend that he hadn\'t liked.
In her eyes,
none of it was fair.
But then again, in her eyes,
she thought she didn\'t deserve him.
She thought he treated her too great.
At home on the phone, things were different.
He called her beautiful...
said he loved her.
But then they\'d get to school,
and none of that had even happened.
At school she was a w h o r e,
and nobody liked her,
as he had so kindly shouted after her one day.
But all she said was okay......
She agreed with him.
She couldn\'t have him.
She couldn\'t have anyone.
Then again,
all she wanted was him.
Perhaps she was blind to the eyes of others,
but it didn\'t matter.
She wanted him...
and if she couldn\'t have him,
she wanted no one,
and she wanted no one to like her.
So he was right.
No body liked her.
She had done things to gain his
attention.
Things she was far from proud of.
So yes,
she was a w h o r e.
She tried to figure out what it was about him that had her enthralled.
Why she couldn\'t just....
move on.
Then again,
he was no help in that department.
Those nights on the phone...
the whispered \'I love yous...
She couldn\'t just move on...
She couldn\'t give up that easily...
And now,
as the truth pours out,
tears blind her.
The truth of her pathetic-ness.
Of her denial.
Of her love.
Of her pain
She wants to go home and forget it.
End it...
but she knows she can\'t....
only because she needs to see
if it will ever work with them....
