Losing Me

So many up and downs, left and rights
Not really sure where I will be tonight

Along the way I think I lost myself somewhere
Tried to help you out to show you that I care

Losing myself is something I would like to take back
I wish I knew what it was that threw me so far off track

I know that it is not just you and I am partly to blame
But I do not really know how to play this stupid game

You string me along with the right things to say
Then you dropped me off and I lost my way

I am now a Barbie because I have become so fake
Losing myself has now become my biggest mistake

I do not know how to start over and I think I need you here
Even though you have made me hurt you took away my fear

Never seeing you again, I do not know if it is for the best
But I really do not know where to start fixing this big mess

Are the tears that stream down my face worth it in the end
Should I go for someone else who wants more than a friend

I do want to get to know you but sometimes you make it hard for me
You have become someone that I thought I would never see

You say you do not care and you are not sure if you want to know
You have become good at taking away my smile and bright glow

You took me from a low and brought me to a high
Never thought you could bring me back down from the sky

You made me feel safe like you would never hurt me
So I went a little over board and went weak at the knee

I try to make excuses about why you act the way you do
Maybe if I make enough excuses they will really come true

Why does the thought of not seeing you make me so sad
Falling for one guy after another has become my new fad

Do I need a break from you so I can find the real me
Because the person in the mirror is not who I want to be

The person I see is someone who is hurt and confused
The person who stares back seems so misused

I use to be so strong, able to stand up on my own
Now I hate the thought to even being alone

Where did she go, the girl who thought life was so great
What happened to the person who thought so highly of fate

I want to see the girl who would smile for no reason at all
I want to find the me that does not need you to call

In my heart or hearts I believe you are still great
And I hope you know you are someone I could never hate

Finding you was something that I will never forget
Kissing you that night will never be a regret

I really want to believe that you really do care
But the things that you said made my heart tear

I saw us only as friends but you never believed what I said
I do not want more yet but you have it stuck in your head

I do not like to lie and everything I said is true
All I wanted was to find a friend in you

Why does there always have to be a beginning and an end
Why does it take so long for a shattered heart to mend

If letting go of you means I will find myself again
Then letting you go should be my amen