Cold Emptiness

It's so dreadfully dark
Inside me tonight
When will things be okay?
When will it be all right?
It's been so long since something went my way
I try to stay up; it will get better someday!
But as time goes by and nothing changes
I now anticipate nothing; I have no expectations
All that I love has been taken away
And there's nothing I can do but suffer and stay
Life gets worse before it gets better
But this time the worse is not ending
And I'm doubting this so-called better
The few things I want; I will never have
All I can do is cling to the memories that are vividly clear
Why didn't I appreciate things while they were here!?
The photo of my hero I have on my wall
The only thing I have left of her since she's been gone
The memories between us are far and few between
Then why does her loss still make me want to scream?
Everyone else was able to move on
Yet two years later my heart still aches
Wondering, why it is always the good that God takes?
She was not my friend, we never even talked
Yet her memory is inside me, like I am being stalked
The only explanation: my mind had been outsmarted
Sitting in my room, crying for a soul that should never have departed
I convince myself that I'm connected
There must be some indiscernible link
But as I stare at the photograph, her brown eyes do not blink
Obsessed with tragedy, caught up in my own lie
My head is always spinning; I just want to die
Compared to most my life is truly great
So why am I caught up in this whirlwind of hate?!