Dear Diary... * Personal

Dear Diary

December, 15. 2005.

Another day has come and past,
And I'm still sitting here without you.
My life was filled with pain,
But you took that pain away.
Now the words you said to me,
"I can't be with you."
Keep haunting me,
And running through my head.
I was so shocked,
That this is how it would end.
But you can't always predict,
"What's next."
My heart feels like it's bin stomped on,
And the only person that could
make me feel OK again,
Is you.
So now I'm still sitting here,
Thinking about what you said.
The only person that I could depend on,
Is the person that just broke my heart...

I got asked today,
"Do you love him?"
And I sat there in amazement
Because I noticed,
The big smile on my face,
and the butterflies in my stomach.

Do I love him?

Yes... I love him...

To: Karli

I've come to notice, that whenever I'm in need, his name comes to mind, right after yours.
You always make me feel OK Karli, and I love you so, so much.
You may blame yourself sometimes, but trust me...
If you work hard, life will end up alright.
Some thing's don't come easy, and you have to work hard for a reward.
Just never give up on the things that make you smile, I haven't.
He makes me smile, and after three years, I'm still chasing him.
I've fooled myself a bunch of times saying that he wasn't the right one, but who was I kidding?

I've finally realized how much I need you, but I guess it's too late...

You know, Maybe it isn't too late...
Maybe it's just the start of a new beginning...
Maybe he just said he doesn't love me...
What if he does love me?
Some days I think that I deserve this, but then I think of what I've bin through...
And I know that I don't.
I'm going to fight for him...
And if I'm ever with someone else, I know for a fact he'll cross my mind...
and I know that he will always have a part of my heart..
the part that is missing right now...

* This is my December...
My December all alone.

* True love never has happy endings,
because true love never ends...

* I don't want to be the only girl in your life,
I just want to be the only one that actually matters.

Heidi Berlin

*I don't even know what to say about this... But you all should have realized that this isn't a poem... It's my Diary.. I was looking through my things, and I found my old Diary... I opened it up and found out that the last time I wrote was December 15, 2004. Exactly one year ago... So I decided since I hadn't wrote it in since then, I could write in it, once again. Let's just say that I had a hard night... Maybe some of those things are true, maybe they aren't.. and the letter, well that's to my best friend...

In life you're going to always lose someone you love...