Throw my hands in the air, and rip out my hair.
Run my nails over the skin, yell out the words I've kept within.
Grit my teeth until they break and forget all the flawlessness I have at stake.
I wanna scream until my throat gets raw and bleeds.
Walk into the bathroom with clenched fists and hide a razor up my sleeve.
Rip out my eyes just to forget all the tears that I cried
Over your stupid selfishness and wax-like personality that I despise.
Leaning against the wall and hearing my knees chatter
And above my head a photo of my own syrupy smile shatters.
I wanna pound on this wood until my knuckles are bruised
And not see your face insist after I've helplessly refused.
Falling into this darkness and looking up at white light.
I refuse to believe that you went and hurt me in spite
Of the pleading and screaming that turned me inside out.
Then the other cheery faces are asking what I'm so angry about.
Bottled up inside is my willingness to be
One of myself and allowed me to be me.
And not this person who was converted by a stranger,
Took a turn for the worse and filled myself with hidden anger.
You'll not be a dire remembrance
Never be a period of imitation bliss
But the guilt you'll carry with you
Carry it in your own clenched fist.
