Somethings are missing

Boring
Thats what my life has always been
I go to school, I go home
Then study straight to my room
No one knows what I am going through
I am not ready to tell them that Im feeling blue
Life was not kind to me anymore
From the day I was born
Maybe this is really my destiny
And there is no such happiness for me
Even though I have great family and friends
And even though I have the best things in life
I still feel that there is something missing
But I never lose hope
Because my mom told me that life begins at forty
Just like what her life is today
But I know why I am not happy
Its because I am afraid of taking risks
Maybe because I fear being hurt
I dont know why I am so damn weak
Maybe its because I fear being judged
And I am afraid of what will they think of me
But I know that my insights are wrong
And I have to prove it to myself from now on