My mind only has the knife

My heart starts to beat faster
I'm running into a fatal disaster
I say "no", but the blade says "yes"
I'm willing to start this mutilating progress

My hands won't stop shaking
Too many decisions to be making
My hand grips the piece of glass
Sweat forms very fast

I rub my hands on my jeans
Everything is falling apart at the seams
I lay down quietly on the floor
After i check the lock on my bedroom door

I feel my hip where my jeans cover
I see scars formed over one another
I put my head back on the floor
Bite my lip, and the rush beings to pour

The first cut is the slowest one
The ones after become more fun
I cut faster, through THIS GOD DAMN PAIN
The blood flows to my pants to stain

I leave out a long, quiet sigh
This is how i cry
My blood drips like tears from my eyes
I'm not dead yet, but I'm not through all my tries

I look at my hip now
There's nothing except scars, how?
The cutting process was in my mind
Somehow, i had to leave that habit behind

Now it is NIGHTS LIKE THIS
When that's a habit that i miss
So much pain! SO MUCH AGONY
My Death Is Not A Damn Tragedy!

I'm thinking about leaving this place
But how would i act when guilt is what I'll face
I'll try to express me as easily as i can
LIVING SCARES ME! now do you understand?

Death is not a fear for me
Living is what is scary
And TWO reasons for breaking my habit
Are still with me... I'm glad i have it

My friends are still here with me
And always will be permanently
I barely talk to her anymore
She's a reason why i stopped for

And even if we don't talk a bunch
I still won't cut because of one punch
Whether she still cares or she don't
I'll have a knife, but cutting? i won't

I still care, I still think about her
She's helped me see clear instead of a blur
So whether or not she stays apart of my life
My mind is the only thing accompanying the knife