(Thoughts of you, really short poem)

by cowgirlstar26   Jan 3, 2006


Curled up
safe in bed
crying tears
so many are shed
trying to make myself believe
that your not everything to me
dying inside, but you'll never know, cause you haven't seen the scars, you still dont know, I love you, I always will, but theres something missing, only your love can fill, as I lay here broken, in this darkened room, I lay alone, with these thoughts of you

(I was going to add more to this but I got alot of feedback saying to just leave it and It's starting to grow on me just as a short poem)

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Lenny

    Maybe draw out the last few lines, and make 'I'll lay alone' 'I lay alone'....
    Sorry had to read it again..

  • 18 years ago

    by Lenny

    Oh my gosh........its so exactly...perfect, i think its finished personally but as you dont there is obviously a want and then need to write more. Go, write, otherwise you will just feel its not finished, its really good, dont believe for one second its not worth finishing, i cant wait to see how you make it better (if its possible...) OK blabbering time to post comment!

  • 18 years ago

    by Live, Laugh, Love

    Honestly, it sounds like it's done.. Some poems don't have to be that long to get your point acrossed.. This poem is full of emotion and I really think you should leave it as it is.. It great like this...

    you still dint know,
    ^Don't
    Thats the only thing wrong with your poem Just fix that word.. Great work hunny

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