Contemplaition

The more I think about it the more I want it.
Thoughts roll around inside the depths of my scrambled mind.
Sometimes it's all I think about.
A way out.
Thinking,
Dreaming,
Wanting,
Needing...
Wait! Stop!
Just stop. Can I have a moment to think?
No time.
I've thought enough.
Now, the decision to decide is what can save me.
Only that and time can tell.
Will I be OK or will I wind up just another teen suicide statistic?
When I lay me head down at night,
I dream about leaving my body and pain behind.
What will that prove?
No one has failed me but myself.
I have chosen to waste my time focusing on the bad when I could have been trying to make good.
Life is to short to waste with empty thoughts and feelings of the sort.
Why be just another statistic when I can be one to save others in my position?
I have that power.
I am strong.
I have made my decision.
Before I can help others do right,
I need to do right for myself.
Then, and only then, will I
be,
finally,
able yo set myself free to be who I truly want to be.