Same Fear

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This pain I can no longer bare,
Fear is always flying through the air,
It seems like it's all up to me,
Either rough or calm sea,
Choosing death not being the way out,
All I can do is sit there with a pout,
Everyday I have the same fear,
Every moment I'm shedding the same tears,
We all have our own choices,
Everybody has there own voices,
One day I know I won't be able to take it,
Even if I try to forget about it and fake it,
All day I just sit there and think,
Memory's come back each day as quickly as a blink,
I try to drain out all my thoughts,
But I just can't because of what I have been taught,
So there for I know that my heart,
Shall eventually just fall apart,
Because of this misery,
I just laugh at myself hysterically,
For putting up with you i look back,
I can't believe my heart is still in tacked,
I so badly want a dad like how you used to be,
But I know that won't happen so I'm just standing here quietly,
Taking it one day at a time,
Thinking about it over and over again as a rhyme,
To try to talk to somebody I cannot do,
People think its a lie But... its true.