Why Tommy?

I have to hide my face as I look into the casket
Everything is so perfect; they even put flowers in a little basket
I grab one and kiss it gently before I place it on top
Tears slide down my cheek, the keep falling, they never stop

Everything is so surreal, it hasn't hit me yet, not hard enough
I have to stay strong, but I can barely stay tough
He wouldn't want me to cry, he'd want to me to move on
He loved me so much; he'd always love me even if I was an ex-con

It's my turn to make a speech, I have to stop crying
I walked up to the podium, the tears wouldn't stop, I kept trying
Everyone is settling back down, they're looking up at me
I really wish I didn't have to do this, I wish I could be let be

I looked at the casket while I was watched by the impatient and sad pack
" Tommy, remember three years ago, let me take you back
Dad and Mom had left us, remember, they told us to take care of ourselves
They took everything we ever had, even the things off the shelves

You went to work at the factory while I went to high school
While we were at home you protected me and made everyone else look like a fool
I'd do my homework while you made supper or paid the bills
While outside there were fights and arguments and sometimes kills

Our neighborhood was scary and full of high tempered drug attics
They always argued and screamed at each other because they were sex fanatics
Sometimes you weren't home to guard me so I hid under the table
I tried distracting myself by watching TV but we didn't have cable

Then one day you came home and told me you had something to say
I sat down as you said you joined the army and you were being shipped away
They were recruiting you because they needed you in the war
I was mad and sad, what do you think I need you for

I was out of high school by then but I was still young and scared
But you packed up your bags and left me like you hadn't cared
I was all alone with the druggies hiding outside my door
I needed something to help me sleep so I went to the store

I bought some cough syrup that I ended up drinking all in one night
I was knocked out for hours and it made me feel alright
I started experimenting with other drugs to find they were such a relief
If you had seen me doing these you'd stare at me in disbelief

One day I realized I needed more money; I spent all that you left
While I was out someone broke into the house, police say it was theft
I needed money for drugs and to repair the house
The house was terrible it was as squeaky as a mouse

My friend told me about a job she had, it made a lot of cash
She told me it's hard to get use to but it was worth the sash
So she got me my first gig and told me what I should wear
I was ready and I prepared myself not to think about it or care

Then while the man was climbing on top of me I got afraid
I had to pull him off me, I felt bad but I gave him back what he had paid
I ran home and looked myself in the mirror for a long time
I didn't have to sink that low I was more than just a nickel and a dime

But, Tommy, the man followed me to my house that night
I had just cheered myself up and everything was going to be alright
He broke down the front door and came storming into my living room
He shoved me against the wall; I didn't know that this was my doom

I fought, and fought but he still managed to get me onto the bed
He smacked me and threw me around a little, and the things he said
I was frightened, Tommy, I was scared out of my mind
I wrestled with him, but life suddenly felt like it was timed

He was on top of me as he struggled to get me still, he wasn't giving up
I found water on the side table and threw it at him and out of the cup
Unexpectedly someone else was there helping me fight him
He threw the disgusting man off of me and everything wasn't so dim

' You can have you're turn later man, she owes me right now ' the bad guy said
I sat up quickly and scooted myself to the other end of the bed
But the good guy kept pushing the bad guy around a lot
I didn't know what was going on; I was shivering on the spot

Soon they started fighting each other, they were all over the floor
There was a chill, I think I was coming from outside the broken door
The noise was defining as they were yelling and punching one another
There was a crowd gathering at my door, even a toddler and her mother

Then there was a scream, a blood curdling scream, Tommy,
Everyone was shocked and the toddler cried for its mommy
There was blood everywhere as I got the nerve to look at the door
The good guy laid still bleeding all over the living room floor

The bad guy was standing back as I got up from the bed
I started to cry as I looked at the good guy on the ground and said
' I can't believe this is happening, we were always there for one another
I can't believe I let this happen, I can't believe you just killed my brother. '"